I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
