its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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