I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
