i barfeds in our rink
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
