watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
birth control should be required to get into college
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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