I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
