so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
