bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
