By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
