Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
