this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
