I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the condom got lost in my hair
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Come on in and take your pants off
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