I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
