if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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