am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Someone shattered a urinal.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
