Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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