Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
