Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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