Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
