I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
