i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
