someone get that fucking seahorse.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
