pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
