Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
