I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
