Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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