I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
