We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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