I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just google imaged poop.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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