The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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