What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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