my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
