so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
