the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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