i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
