Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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