he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
