You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
