Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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