He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
