Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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