I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When did angry sex become our thing?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
