I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
