I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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