can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
