Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
