is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
