does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
