No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
