For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
