apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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